Here is my open txt message to the world. My latest revelation. This is my truth. I am high off my new found strength and freedom. I truly believe that as woman healing ourselves we heal every woman that has come before and will come after us. I won't stop.You are your only limitation.
Lately I've had to really step outside my comfort zone w these pics and that photoshoot and all this stuff. Like it is honestly one of the hardest things for me to do bc it's so fucking triggering of my body image issues and shit. I had this thing where I felt like 'damn I don't wanna be all desperate looking out here trying to be like look at me.' I never talk about this bc i know it's irrational af. Like it was really all in my head but I was still dealing w it. Trying to balance the self criticism and fear others will see the parts of me I find hard to embrace. I'd always find sources of strength and shit and just play it off. I've always managed to make it look like a breeze, do just enough that no one would ever suspect I felt this way. Recently I couldn't hide from it anymore. I know I'm meant to be in the public eye in some shape or form like even on a small scale but i knew in order to make moves I needed more marketing material of all kinds so that meant pics of me. In order for my message to be more impactful I had to present myself to the world differently. This next level was requiring a different me. It has been sooo hard letting go of my limiting beliefs about myself being photographed. And these past couple weeks...boyyyyyyeee Ive been dealing w it and tonight on IG I saw this dope makeup artist shining and this amazing poet gleaming! I thought to myself... if the deep kids were afraid to feel and write poems and share how would we enjoy their work or learn to express ourselves or if the creative kids were afraid to be too creative or the bold people afraid to be too bold or the funny people afraid to make us laugh etc. Legit seeing myself from a different angle and realizing I've been afraid to be too much. But by being afraid I've deprived myself of the joy of being myself in this world, and as most wouldn't be able to tell, I second guess and hold back bc i do a great job of pretending to be bold in this area but I'm not so it's been a struggle but now I'm not going to have to force myself. I'm gunna flow w it bc I've let that bullshit go. Im here and I always encourage others to be their most bold authentic self in everything so of course I do my best to push myself. These past few weeks have been tough as I have finally faced my fear and embrace my gifts. Tonight though, I have such a different perspective and I'm here to shine and enjoy it for me. I am no longer fighting hard and doing it b/c I have to. Now when you see me shine it wasn't despite feeling small and scared inside. I'm here to flourish. Now watch me work.