13 Ways to Increase Intimacy Without S-E-X

The other day I googled "what happens when you stare into someone's eyes for 7 minutes" -  uhhh just another moment of procrastination in my world....I be on waves when I'm home working alone, or any other time every really. 

I came across this video watched it and cried. I began thinking of how intimate that connection would be and what a special tool purposefully looking into someone's eyes is. What if we could all cultivate better connection with one another and how understanding we'd become.  This would basically lead to no one taking anything personally, as a collective we'd employ the 4 agreements and world peace would dominate! 

 I also began thinking of who I could do that with?! Who could I make fall in love with me after just 7 minutes? Annnnnd since things are pretty dry and dusty in terms of romance my way ( at times I think I may perish from lack of romantic interaction/stimulation yet somehow here I am living another day) I decided to share this with all of you.  

Enjoy my suggestions of creating intimacy without sex. My intention is that it leads to a deeper connection between whomever is involved and a greater understanding that we are all one. G'head fall in love on my dime folks it's only right. 

1.  Look into each others eyes for 7 minutes. 

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I'm not here to entertain (that's a lie). I'm here to spread a message. So, yes, this one is first. Just do it. Find a comfortable spot. I mean if you're in NYC you can do weird stuff anywhere. Preferably a spot that you and the other person are alone. No using outside distractions to take away from the initial awkwardness. You can play music but don't be extra with it. Like don't sing and laugh to distract from the fact that you are uncomfortable with someone REALLY looking at you. Eyes are the windows to the soul. Pull the curtains back shorty. 

2. Massages! 

This can be BETTER than sex if you're me. You don't have to get all oiled up but, damnit I suggest you do!  With candles. Make a playlist and make it one with out commercials. That $9.99 a month is really worth uninterrupted vibes. 

Platonically this is important to. I am a major advocate for physical TOUCH. Connection on so many levels happens when someone lays a nonthreatening and caring hand on our shoulder. Stress melts, we feel safer, we feel grounded, and are reminded we aren't alone. So many of us independent hustlaz go days without meaningful touch. Massages also help our bodies to release toxins and suppressed emotion. Massage has positive psychological affects and increases endorphin secretion. A quick shoulder rub helps to break down built up lactic acid so our muscles stay flexible and don't turn to stone and you aren't a stiff old geezer when you grow up. That's real. TOUCH PEOPLE! 

3.  Create a collaborative playlist and host your own music festival.

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Lol dead ass I'm a genius. So most streaming services allow you to create playlists and allow others to collaborate with you. Spend a week or so contributing to this joint list. You can decide on a theme or just go HAM and have it be an all inclusive list. Once the playlist is complete get together and listen together.  You can take a portable speaker and have a picnic with your playlist or cook something together using it as a soundtrack. If you want to get hella old school sit down with refreshments and or intoxicants of your choice and play the songs on your list explaining why you chose each one. 

This is obviously stupid romantic but can be done with a group of friends and played at gatherings. My friends and I have a collaborative playlist called "Aziz Sleeps" because it was started at one of our hangouts while Aziz was napping. 

4.  Cook for each other.

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This doesn't have to to feel forced or be done at the same time. If you really aren't into cooking, purchase your fav. dish and plate it. Most things made by someone else, albeit a glass of juice, usually taste better just because you didn't have to prepare it. 

Eating is a form of receiving. Cooking for someone opens up a channel for exchange. It is a non-verbal way of communicating to the other person that you have their back and can care for them.  If you dare go the extra mile and ask them what they enjoy eating before you prepare food for them GOD BLESS YA! 

5.  Hold hands.

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Platonic or romantic just do this. You walking together as a united front against the world speaks volumes and provides an energetic current of connection. Physical touch is a very important component of deep connection. It also plays a crazy positive part in our development. 

6. Workout together.

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Sweat it out and encourage each other. You don't have to do the same exercises but partnering up to do something so beneficial for your body is a real bonding experience. Doing something so positive that increases all those happy hormones will have you gazing into your partners eyes in bliss. Activities that contribute to your overall wellbeing in general are extremely beneficial to do with your partner.  

Ladies, I know it may feel uncomfortable af to workout with a man.  Just do it. Honestly, fuck your hair, don't worry about makeup. You are the prize. I know you wanna have a cute workout outfit on so g'head and do that but don't worry about sweating or smelling. Those pheromones be poppin' hottie! Your glow will be natural and unmatched. If you really aren't trying to go without makeup - schedule your workout for later in the day and even if you didn't just come from a thing act like you just came from a thing, or work, and change into gym clothes with a full beat. We'll work on you being comfortable sans makey in another post. 

7. Participate in each other's favorite activity. 

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Hopefully yaa have more than one hobby but choose a couple to do together. Seeing the other person in their element will give you a better understanding of them. Seeing real passion in their eyes...well you can decide what to do with that. Allowing someone to be involved in something you enjoy doing will hopefully create happy memories for you.

8.  Talk about REAL SHIT.

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CUT THE SMALL TALK, homes. Here is a list of 36 questions to help you fall in love. Use this with as many people as you'd like. Fall in love over and over. Romantic, platonic, whatever BE in LOVE.

9. Meditate together. 

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Quiet time + a beneficial activity for your well-being + space for your higher selves to connect = PURE GOLD INTIMACY!   
Fire up a guided meditation or some good 'ol fashioned spa music, dim the lights, light some incense and or candles, grab your favorite crystal and ride out papa. Stay alert for my meditations for the culture being released SOON!

10. Randomly send positive text messages.

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 I had to be extra. Sue meh. But yea it's a dope gesture and a fun way to connect regardless of distance. You never know the impact on that funny meme or gif in the middle of the day or just sending a smiley face emoji will have. Send a link to the song you have on repeat or a picture of the fly lunch spot you had share your world. Send them love and a positive thought or two.  You figga deal me? 

11. Pray for and or send them love on a regular basis. 

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YEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!! Need I say more?  

12. Cultivate a hobby together.

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It's wonderful to support each other's hobbies but when you find a collective project or hobby to equally contribute to you're a real TEAM!  Find your thing and allow yourselves to equally participate.  

13. Mutual Grooming. 

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Oh just another way for me to touch you. So you're starting to see a theme here huh?  For my platonic friends, it doesn't have to be weird. Keep in mind that greasing someone's scalp will have you connected for years to come so part that crown at your own risk.  Brush his beard, moisturize his face. I'm setting this up for the fellas but this suggestion is ultimately gender neutral. 

Original ideas from thy mind of WokeBae™

When you try these please let me know how it goes. We're in this together. 

xo,

L

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